Welcome to the world's least-effective web-site, created and web-mastered by the world's least-effective "techie." There's no good reason for your visit, but now that you're here you might as well make yourself comfortable. Check out some of these books from the desk of author Daniel Paisner, and while you're at it wonder how it is that we live in a world where such as this deserves even virtual space in our pop-cultural firmament.
NATIVE AMERICAN AWARD-FETCHER AND SEAT-FILLER SACHEEN LITTLEFEATHER SHOWN HERE ACCEPTING 2006 QUILL AWARD FROM AN EXTREMELY WELL-PRESERVED ROGER MOORE AND LIV ULLMAN ON BEHALF OF AUTHOR DANIEL PAISNER, WHO COULD NOT ATTEND THE OCTOBER 10TH CEREMONY IN NEW YORK CITY DUE TO A PREVIOUS COMMITMENT (AND, A LITTLE BIT, IN SMALL PROTEST OF THE DEPICTION OF MIDDLE-AGED JEWISH GHOST-WRITERS IN MADE-FOR-TELEVISION MOVIES AND COMMERCIALS)
DANIEL PAISNER AND HOLLY ROBINSON PEETE CAPTURE QUILL AWARD FOR BEST SPORTS BOOK OF 2006... MARANISS "CRESTFALLEN," FRIENDS SAY
The winners of the 2006 Quill Book Awards were announced Tuesday, October 10, 2006 during a star-studded gala at the American Museum of Natural History in New York City, hosted by NBC News' Lester Holt. It was a who's who of authors and best-selling publishers as awards were handed out in 20 categories. The winners were chosen by the public, who cast their votes online.
The Quills' highest honor, Book of the Year, was awarded to "Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings," by Tyler Perry, published by Riverhead Books.
The most anticipated award of the evening, in the Best Sports Book category, went to Holly Robinson Peete and Daniel Paisner for "Get Your Own Damn Beer, I'm Watching the Game!" -- a guide to professional football that somehow beat out nominated entries from noted Pulitzer Prize winners David Halberstam and David Maraniss.
"Go figure," Paisner told reporters, when informed of his award while enjoying the pre-season rates at Gstaad.
The author had retained famed ceremony-stealer Sacheen Littlefeather to accept the award on his behalf. "She's good at this sort of thing," he said. "Me, I'd be too nervous, meeting Roger Moore and that Bond girl, and making a speech in front of all those people. And besides, that line people always say, about how it's an honor just to be nominated. No way I could deliver that with a straight face. Sacheen, though, she's got the routine down. She's a real pro's pro."
The black-tie audience at the 2006 Quill ceremonies enjoyed performances by American Idol's Fantasia, comedian Lewis Black and the Tony Award-winning cast of Broadway's "Avenue Q." Celebrity presenters included Donald Trump, Stanley Tucci, Harry Connick, Jr., Suzanne Somers, Rhea Perlman, Dana Delany and other notables from the world of letters.
MONEYMAKER: HOW AN AMATEUR POKER PLAYER TURNED $40 INTO $2.5 MILLION AT THE WORLD SERIES OF POKER
Just published by HarperCollins (March, 2005)... "an entertaining and insightful insider analysis" (Publishers Weekly)... "razor-quick prose, great fun" (Kirkus)... "a pretty damn good poker book" (co-author Paisner, overheard blowing smoke up his own butt)
YOU'RE HIRED: HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS AND LIFE
written with Bill Rancic, inaugural winner of "The Apprentice"... published by HarperCollins (September, 2004)... "surprisingly satisfying" (Publishers Weekly)... "it doesn't suck" (once again, co-author Paisner, perhaps missing the point)
MOURNING WOOD: A NOVEL
Paisner's second "first" novel... the story of an aging Hollywood icon who stages his own death, and the hack obituary writer hired to complete his presumably posthumous memoirs..."A cult favorite" (Kirkus Reviews)
CURRENTLY IN ITS FIRST PRINTING!
"The Price of Their Blood: Profiles in Spirit," with the Hon. Jesse Brown (Bonus Books) -- stirring profiles of disabled American veterans
"Winners Make it Happen," with Leonard H. Lavin (Bonus Books)-- bulletins from the founding president and CEO of the Alberto Culver Corporation
"Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say! 7 Simple Strategies to Help Our Children Along the Path to Purpose and Possibility," (uncredited) with Judge Glenda Hatchett (Morrow)-- an Essence magazine #1 national best-seller (whatever that means)
STILL SOMEWHAT AVAILABLE!
"Last Man Down: A Firefighter's Story of Survival and Escape from the World Trade Center," with FDNY Battalion Commander Richard Picciotto (Berkley)-- a New York Times best-seller
"A Dozen Ways to Sunday," with Montel Williams (Hay House)
"The Hill," with Ed Hommer (Rodale Press)
"Home Run: The Best Writing About Baseball's Greatest Moment," edited by George Plimpton (Harcourt)-- contributor
"Chicken Soup for the Baseball Fan's Soul," edited by Canfield, et al. (Heath Communications) -- contributor
NOT QUITE REMAINDERED!
"The Ball: Mark McGwire's 70th Home Run Ball and the Marketing of the American Dream" (Viking)
"Practical Parenting," (uncredited) with Montel Williams and Jeffrey Gardere (Hay House)
"I'm Not Done Yet!" with Edward I. Koch (Morrow)
"You Have to Stand for Something (or You'll Fall for Anything)," with Star Jones (Bantam)
"Pataki: An Autobiography," with George E. Pataki (Viking)
"Book," (uncredited) with Whoopi Goldberg (Morrow)-- a New York Times best-seller
"True Beauty," with Emme (Putnam)
"Mountain, Get Out of My Way," with Montel Williams (Warner Books)-- a New York Times best-seller
"One Man Tango," with Anthony Quinn (HarperCollins)
"Horizontal Hold: The Making and Unmaking of a Network Television Pilot" (Birch Lane Press)
"Exposing Myself," with Geraldo Rivera (Bantam)-- a New York Times best-seller
"Citizen Koch," with Edward I. Koch (St. Martin's Press)
"Obit: A Novel" (Dutton)
RECENTLY SPOTTED ON BOOKSHELVES IN FURNITURE SHOWROOMS!
"The Imperfect Mirror: Reflections of Television Newswomen" (Morrow)
"Heartlands: An American Odyssey" (Simon & Schuster)
"First Father, First Daughter," (uncredited) with Maureen Reagan (Little, Brown)
"Theo & Me: Growing Up Okay," with Malcolm-Jamal Warner (Dutton)
"America is My Neighborhood," with Willard Scott (Simon & Schuster)
The President of the United States, shown here, recalls a colorful anecdote from the autobiography of Hollywood legend Anthony Quinn, written with big-word-totin' author Daniel Paisner.
HERE'S A WHIMSICAL NEW YORKER CARTOON THAT SPEAKS TO THE AUTHOR'S LOVE OF COOKIES AND DISCIPLINE AND POACHING UNAUTHORIZED ARTWORK OFF THE INTERNET... (PLEASE NOTE: THE CLEVER CAPTION IS TINY AND HARD-TO-READ BECAUSE THE AUTHOR DIDN'T PAY FOR THE RIGHTS TO THE CARTOON AND IT TURNS OUT THE WAY THEY PROTECT THE ARTISTS IS TO MAKE THE IMAGE CLOUDY WHEN YOU TRY TO ENLARGE IT... WHO KNEW?... DON A PAIR OF GLASSES AND ENJOY!)
