Welcome to the world's least-effective web-site, created and web-mastered by the world's least-effective "techie." There's no good reason for your visit, but now that you're here you might as well make yourself comfortable. Check out some of these books from the desk of author Daniel Paisner, and note with disinterest some of his accomplishments and miscalculations, and while you're at it wonder how it is that we live in a world where such as this deserves even virtual space in our pop-cultural firmament.
COMING SOON FROM GRAND CENTRAL PUBLISHING
ON THE LINE, with Serena Williams (Grand Central Publishing; August, 2009)
JUST PUBLISHED BY KNOPF
... "a superior book..." -- Library Journal
THE COMPLETE GAME: Reflections on Baseball, Pitching and Life on the Mound, with Ron Darling (Knopf; April, 2009)
"When most former major leaguers write memoirs, you wonder why they bothered; with Ron Darling - Yale graduate, former New York Met and Oakland A, and current Mets broadcaster - you wonder why it took him so long. What other former athlete could write a sentence like this even with assistance from a professional writer (Daniel Paisner): "This right here (his legendary college pitching duel against St. Johns star Frank Viola) was one of the great epiphanies for me as a competitive athlete, only it took a while for it to resonate." Most former pitchers can't resonate even with help..."
-- Allen Barra, San Francisco Chronicle "Best Baseball Books of 2009"
"Met fans already know Ron Darling as one of the game’s most insightful commentators, but this is a book for all of Baseball Nation to cherish. Just as artfully as he once changed speeds, Darling moves adeptly between his own experience on the mound and his probing analysis of the art and psychology of pitching to offer us a rare glimpse inside the world of the loneliest man on the field. The result is the pitching equivalent of Ted Williams’ 'The Science of Hitting.'"
–Jonathan Mahler, author of "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bronx is Burning"
"Darling's little gem of a book immediately takes its place alongside 'Ball Four' and 'Moneyball' as a classic, and the best account ever of the way pitchers think."
–Joseph J. Ellis, author of "American Creation"
THE GIRL IN THE GREEN SWEATER: A Life in Holocaust's Shadow, with Krystyna Chiger (St. Martin's; October, 2008)
The harrowing story of survival and hope, set in a web of sewer tunnels beneath the streets of Lvov, Poland during the Holocaust...
"Every so often a Holocaust memoir comes along that transcends the breathless survivor narratives and is recognized as a classic of its kind, such as Elie Wiesel's 'Night' or Primo Levi's 'Survival in Auschwitz.' 'The Girl in the Green Sweater,' a first-person account by Krystyna Chiger, a retired 73-year-old dentist, written with Daniel Paisner, a professional ghostwriter, could possibly become such a book..."
-- Netty C. Gross, The Jerusalem Report
"Despite the substantial number of Holocaust memoirs that have been published, 'The Girl in the Green Sweater' manages to touch us in an unexpected way, revealing highs and lows in man's capacity for evil, as well as his capacity to love life and other human beings. Through the eyes of the child that Krystyna Chiger was in Lvov, Poland in 1939, we see the whole moral universe."
-- Naomi Ragen, author of "The Saturday Wife"
SEX, SCIENCE AND STEM CELLS: Inside the Right Wing Assault on Reason (The Lyons Press; August, 2008)
written with Rep. Diana DeGette (D-Colorado)
"Congresswoman DeGette provides an explosive, first-hand account of how the right-wing has manipulated public policy on issues ranging from choice, reproduction, and stem cell research for pure political gain. Her compilation of experiences from inside the halls of Congress reveal how sound-science and scientific evidence have been ignored for far too long. Everyone should read Congresswoman DeGette's book and learn from it."
-- Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives
CHANGE IN THE WEATHER: Life After Stroke (Gotham Books; May, 2008)
written in collaboration with long-time CBS News personality Mark McEwen
“Mark McEwen’s Change in the Weather: Life After Stroke is a heartwarming tale of triumph against overwhelming odds. For anyone who has suffered a stroke or knows someone who has, Mark’s words will make them laugh and cry, but mostly will give them hope.”
-- George H.W. Bush, 41st President of the United States
“Mark McEwen is one of America’s great communicators. Read this book and you’ll learn about the adventures of morning television, but you’ll also find out how love and hard work brought a man who almost died back to life.”
-- Harry Smith, anchor of The Early Show on CBS
THE GAME OF MY LIFE: A True Story of Challenge, Triumph and Growing Up Autistic (NAL; February, 2008)
written with Jason "J-Mac" McElwain
"In the 1984 Orange Bowl, Boston College's Doug Flutie threw a last-second 48-yard Hail Mary pass to Gerard Phelan that stunned viewers and gave the Eagles a 47-45 victory over the University of Miami Hurricanes. Fans still talk about that game, about that pass, about the talent, determination, and bit of luck that inspired sports lovers everywhere to believe anything is possible if you work and dream hard enough.
"Twenty-two years later, another athlete had a similarly life-changing experience. For Jason McElwain - dubbed J-Mac by his teammates - it happened not during a nationally televised college football game, but on the Rochester, N.Y., Greece Athena High School basketball court in front of wildly cheering schoolmates, teammates, friends, and family. Those four minutes - detailed in McElwain's 'The Game of My Life' - catapulted him to national stardom.
"And those four minutes also challenged our view of what children with autism can accomplish with supportive teachers and the love of a devoted family and loyal friends.
"Caught by team cameras, the video of McElwain's amazing achievement - 20 points scored in the final four minutes of the team's last regular-season game, including a school-record six 3-pointers - has been viewed more than 300,000 times on YouTube; it also ran on ESPN and the national evening news. McElwain won a 2006 ESPY Award for "Best Sports Moment," beating Kobe Bryant and the George Mason University men's basketball team. The game made him so popular he even had Peyton Manning's number in his cellphone directory...
"For thousands of parents of children with autism, reading 'The Game of My Life' is a window into your child's world. Recounting his memories of growing up with autism, as a child who didn't speak until he was 5 years old, he talks about idolizing his older brother and making friends with neighborhood children. As he discovers sports, we see a young man with exceptional drive and persistence emerge...
"But it was the game of basketball that became the center of McElwain's world. Although he practiced shooting hoops every day, and all summer long, he never made the cut on either the high school junior varsity or varsity teams. Instead, he was named the team manager. And he embraced the position.
"As the final game of his senior year approached, the coach offered McElwain the possibility that he would get to play for a few minutes. With four minutes left in the game, and their team ahead, 59-31, coach Jim Johnson said, 'Jason, you're in,' and the rest is history. McElwain's account of those four minutes will make you feel every moment of his excitement and joy...
"Co-author Daniel Paisner has added context to McElwain's story by including comments from his family, therapists, coaches, and teammates. We see his struggles with autism from their point of view. But it is McElwain's words of determination that resonate through the book. 'Stay focused,' he says to the players during every game and every practice.
"Flutie, who has an autistic son, may have identified with McElwain's shining moment on many levels. 'His story is an inspiration for all parents and provides hope for those facing a diagnosis of autism,' the former quarterback says in a quote on the jacket of 'The Game of My Life.'"
-- Leah P. Baily, Boston Globe
MOURNING WOOD: A NOVEL (Volt Press/Bonus Books; January, 2004)
Paisner's second "first" novel... the story of an aging Hollywood icon who stages his own death, and the hack obituary writer hired to complete his presumably posthumous memoirs..."A cult favorite" (Kirkus Reviews)
"The author, a prolific ghostwriter (his string of credits includes books cowritten with George Pataki, Willard Scott, and Anthony Quinn), published his first novel, 'Obit', in 2000. It featured Axel Pimletz, an obituary writer for a Boston newspaper. Paisner's second novel, also starring the hapless Pimletz, is altogether a superior piece of work. Where 'Obit' was lumbered with a clumsy mystery plot, this one is a breezy comedy that moves at a brisk pace. Terence Wood, a famous actor, apparently has died, and after Pimletz's lengthy obituary is published, Pimletz is approached for an even bigger assignment: writing Wood's memoirs. How does a minimally talented obit writer produce the memoirs of an actor about whom he barely knows anything? And what will happen when he - and the world - discovers that the actor is not dead? Paisner has polished and expanded all the good things in his first novel and jettisoned all the things that didn't work. If there is anyone who could write a good novel about a ghostwriter, it's a ghostwriter, and this novel is just a whole lot of fun. Here's a book that, with enough word of mouth, has the makings of a cult favorite.
-- David Pitt, Booklist (starred review)
NATIVE AMERICAN AWARD-FETCHER AND SEAT-FILLER SACHEEN LITTLEFEATHER SHOWN HERE ACCEPTING 2006 QUILL AWARD FROM AN EXTREMELY WELL-PRESERVED ROGER MOORE AND LIV ULLMAN ON BEHALF OF AUTHOR DANIEL PAISNER, WHO COULD NOT ATTEND THE OCTOBER 10TH CEREMONY IN NEW YORK CITY DUE TO A PREVIOUS COMMITMENT (AND, A LITTLE BIT, IN SMALL PROTEST OF THE DEPICTION OF MIDDLE-AGED JEWISH GHOST-WRITERS IN MADE-FOR-TELEVISION MOVIES AND COMMERCIALS)
DANIEL PAISNER AND HOLLY ROBINSON PEETE CAPTURE QUILL AWARD FOR BEST SPORTS BOOK OF 2006... MARANISS "CRESTFALLEN," FRIENDS SAY
The winners of the 2006 Quill Book Awards were announced Tuesday, October 10, 2006 during a star-studded gala at the American Museum of Natural History in New York City, hosted by NBC News' Lester Holt. It was a who's who of authors and best-selling publishers as awards were handed out in 20 categories. The winners were chosen by the public, who cast their votes online.
The Quills' highest honor, Book of the Year, was awarded to "Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings," by Tyler Perry, published by Riverhead Books.
The most anticipated award of the evening, in the Best Sports Book category, went to Holly Robinson Peete and Daniel Paisner for "Get Your Own Damn Beer, I'm Watching the Game!" -- a guide to professional football that somehow beat out nominated entries from noted Pulitzer Prize winners David Halberstam and David Maraniss.
"Go figure," Paisner told reporters, when informed of his award while enjoying the pre-season rates at Gstaad.
The author had retained famed ceremony-stealer Sacheen Littlefeather to accept the award on his behalf. "She's good at this sort of thing," he said. "Me, I'd be too nervous, meeting Roger Moore and that Bond girl, and making a speech in front of all those people. And besides, that line people always say, about how it's an honor just to be nominated. No way I could deliver that with a straight face. Sacheen, though, she's got the routine down. She's a real pro's pro."
The black-tie audience at the 2006 Quill ceremonies enjoyed performances by American Idol's Fantasia, comedian Lewis Black and the Tony Award-winning cast of Broadway's "Avenue Q." Celebrity presenters included Donald Trump, Stanley Tucci, Harry Connick, Jr., Suzanne Somers, Rhea Perlman, Dana Delany and other notables from the world of letters.
SELLING LIKE HOTCAKES OR INDIVIDUALLY-WRAPPED SLICES OF PROCESSED CHEESE FOOD OR SOME OTHER POPULAR ITEM THAT TENDS TO SELL BRISKLY!
"Display of Power: How FUBU Turned the Fashion World Inside Out," with Daymond John (Thomas Nelson/Naked Ink) -- a Library Journal "Top 10 Business Book" of 2007
"A Hand to Guide Me," with Denzel Washington (Meredith Books) -- a New York Times best-seller
"Facing Down Evil: Reflections of an FBI Hostage Negotiator," with Clinton Van Zandt (Putnam)
"Stand for Something: The Battle for America's Soul," with John Kasich (Warner Books) -- a New York Times best-seller
"Last Man Down: A Firefighter's Story of Survival and Escape from the World Trade Center," with FDNY Battalion Commander Richard Picciotto (Berkley) -- a New York Times best-seller
CURRENTLY IN ITS FIRST PRINTING!
"Get Your Own Damn Beer, I'm Watching the Game! A Woman's Guide to Loving Professional Football," with Holly Robinson Peete (Rodale Press) -- 2006 Quill Award winner
"Morning Has Broken: A Couple's Journey Through Depression," with Emme and Phil Aronson (NAL)
"Moneymaker: How an Amateur Poker Player Tunred $40 into $2.5 Million at the World Series of Poker," with Chris Moneymaker (HarperCollins) -- an Amazon.com "Hot 100" seller
"You're Hired: How to Succeed in Business and Life from the Winner of 'The Apprentice,'" with Bill Rancic (HarperCollins) -- a Wall Street Journal, New York Times and USA Today best-seller
"Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say! 7 Simple Strategies to Help Our Children Along the Path to Purpose and Possibility," (uncredited) with Judge Glenda Hatchett (Morrow) -- an Essence magazine #1 national best-seller (whatever that means)
STILL SOMEWHAT AVAILABLE!
"The Ball: Mark McGwire's 70th Home Run Ball and the Marketing of the American Dream" (Viking) -- an Amazon.com "Hot 100" seller
"The Hill," with Ed Hommer (Rodale Press)
"The Price of Their Blood: Profiles in Spirit," with the Hon. Jesse Brown (Bonus Books) -- stirring profiles of disabled American veterans
"A Dozen Ways to Sunday," with Montel Williams (Hay House)
"Home Run: The Best Writing About Baseball's Greatest Moment," edited by George Plimpton (Harcourt) -- contributor
"Chicken Soup for the Baseball Fan's Soul," edited by Canfield, et al. (Heath Communications) -- contributor
NOT QUITE REMAINDERED!
"I'm Not Done Yet!" with Edward I. Koch (Morrow)
"You Have to Stand for Something (or You'll Fall for Anything)," with Star Jones (Bantam)
"Pataki: An Autobiography," with George E. Pataki (Viking)
"Book," (uncredited) with Whoopi Goldberg (Morrow) -- a New York Times best-seller
"True Beauty," with Emme (Putnam)
"Mountain, Get Out of My Way," with Montel Williams (Warner Books) -- a New York Times best-seller
"One Man Tango," with Anthony Quinn (HarperCollins)
"Horizontal Hold: The Making and Unmaking of a Network Television Pilot" (Birch Lane Press)
"Exposing Myself," with Geraldo Rivera (Bantam) -- a New York Times best-seller
"Citizen Koch," with Edward I. Koch (St. Martin's Press)
"Obit: A Novel" (Dutton)
"Winners Make it Happen," with Leonard H. Lavin (Bonus Books) -- bulletins from the founding president and CEO of the Alberto Culver Corporation
RECENTLY SPOTTED ON BOOKSHELVES IN FURNITURE SHOWROOMS!
"The Imperfect Mirror: Reflections of Television Newswomen" (Morrow) -- a School Library Journal "Best Book of the Year"
"Practical Parenting," (uncredited) with Montel Williams and Jeffrey Gardere (Hay House)
"Heartlands: An American Odyssey" (Simon & Schuster)
"First Father, First Daughter," (uncredited) with Maureen Reagan (Little, Brown)
"Theo & Me: Growing Up Okay," with Malcolm-Jamal Warner (Dutton)
"America is My Neighborhood," with Willard Scott (Simon & Schuster)
The 43rd President of the United States, shown here, fields a particularly difficult question in response to Colorado Congresswoman Diana DeGette's blistering indictment of the religious right, "Sex, Science and Stem Cells" -- just published by GlobePequot/Lyons Press.
The 44th President of the United States, shown here, fields a particularly difficult question in response to a report that noted collaborator Paisner had suggested "The Audacity of Crosby" as the title for the then-Senator's inspirational memoir. "Bing doesn't get the credit he deserves," Paisner reportedly said.
HERE'S A WHIMSICAL NEW YORKER CARTOON THAT SPEAKS TO THE AUTHOR'S LOVE OF COOKIES AND DISCIPLINE AND POACHING UNAUTHORIZED ARTWORK OFF THE INTERNET... (PLEASE NOTE: THE CLEVER CAPTION IS TINY AND HARD-TO-READ BECAUSE THE AUTHOR DIDN'T PAY FOR THE RIGHTS TO THE CARTOON AND IT TURNS OUT THE WAY THEY PROTECT THE ARTISTS IS TO MAKE THE IMAGE CLOUDY WHEN YOU TRY TO ENLARGE IT... WHO KNEW?... DON A PAIR OF GLASSES AND ENJOY!)
